Seperation...Divorce...

The title suggest something legal...but right now its still informal. The house is silent...ama on one end listening to the oldies of India/Nepal, and on the end Buwa tweaking his resume for future jobs. And Raj, in the middle of all things, just as clueless as I last saw him. Something happened, and no one is talking. Awkward, yet emotional. I don't know who to talk to, or even what to do. Legal action will never be taken, that would blasphemous to the culture, but yet its already damaging the atmosphere. They talk but to me and not each other. I have probed and poked, but not a word. Silence pierced the air like a thousand cymbols clashing in untimely manner creating a constant, unavoidalbe ringing behind all the facades. All in all it wasn't a too bad of a Thanksgiving.

I mean i did have fun with the fam. We made food...pizza, cheese cake, pecan pie, couli flower, rice, chicken (my fav) and whole bunch more. I crocheted, watched a lot of movies, and hung out with Raj. I shopped in the store we own. Since it is closing I was able to pick out whatever I wanted...15 scarves, 3 trousers, 5 skirts, and a pouch full of sterling silver and jewled jewelery. I hugn out with Raj, after the longest time of his constant NOs. We watch Transporter 3 together...it was nice to have him around. It was an unoffical dasai, christmas, and birthday combined. I also got the trench coal my folks bought me...i like it...a lot....

but... there was a silence through out the whole holiday. And yet it causing a lot of noise in my paranoid mind. Two weeks from now I will be back home, and I hope the silence will have passed. It will never be legal, but its still there, presenting and unfolding itself uncomfortably. I don't know what to do if it doesn't heal by then...I love them - all of them...and I don't know what to do. At the moment I am back at college...living a different life. Its an escape, but yet I feel guilty for having this escape. Its an escape none of them can have. But yet...I wish they experienced it too. But life isn't what we want...hopefully in two weeks, I'll have what i want out of life - noise.