IT MATTERS!

From my last post, you can see that I am a little preoccupied by my identity. It doesn't bother me to keep it inside, but when I try to give my completely white friends an insight by sharing my feelings I feel they should give me respect by listening. I am not asking them to relate, but to hear me out. I am there for their troubles, their issues, their dilemmas. But the minute I turn a little serious, and am not my normal obnoxious self...I am not given the time to be heard. Last night Jenny(my bosom buddy) and I had very therapeutic talk, that enabled me to open up and breathe. She has a calming and insightful way about her, which always centers my thoughts. But then today I am shut up-ed with a single sentence by another friend...the sentence being..."that doesn't matter."I was telling my friend about how my abroad experience in Ethiopia is going to be different from the other blond , blued eyed intern. And her response - "that doesn't matter," without letting me finish. Are you kidding me!!!!! It matters to ME!!!! It matters when the your identity, race, ethnicity, whatever it is called is in the color of your skin. It matters when your skin color shapes the interactions and the relationships that can grow or not grown from the first encounter. It matters when you walk into a room full of blonds, and leave because of a subconscious distress. It matters when someone says, "Oh, I have a guy friend who likes Indian girls." Excuse me, can guys only like Indian girls or none at all....and I AM NOT INDIAN! It matters when you can feel isolated, different and detached because of it. It matters when feel like an outsider in the place one calls home and it does matter when you have no one to share it with.
So do not tell me "that it doesn't matter?" BECAUSE IT DOES!!!