LIFE AFTER COLLEGE!

The last post was ages ago...wow...lame...oh well! So, i GRADUMACATED! yep, packed up bags, went through tearful goodbyes, got wasted for the last time at MAXs and walked across stage to receive my diploma only to realize they mail you the real one during the summer...UGH! fours years bye bye.



Its been 4 months now. I am sitting in east coast only coffee chain in Atlanta GA, 3000 miles away from a past life. Memories, ever present, never fading, always streaming, I am nostalgic. Its bittersweet. How does one let go? I did it before, but do I want to do it again, let go I mean. hmm...my UO themed/colored backpack probably doesn't help my case!



Anyways, I am at Emory...who said school was done? But alas, GA isn't OR. The SOUTH is its own world. And I am still charting my course. figuring out the details, holding on to the concepts, and running wildly through heat....the heat...nowhere to escape. its time to starting liking this place...I am here for the next two years. LOVE PEACE AND JOY...and GO DUCKS!

OMG!!! WHAT DID I DO!

Shit...why? Am i that stupid...the guilt and the constant pressure...ugghh...crap! how am I supposed to look them in the eye? help! Can't wait till this passes. will it ever...yikes?

Summer '09 Catch UP

I know...I know...I know...its been ages since I last wrote. But when you have nothing to do, no classes, barely any work, and all the time in the world you end up doing nothing but chilling, maxin' actin' all cool...haha! No seriously, I have been enjoying the last two weeks or so with utter bliss by doing things on my schedule. Waking up with no alarm clocks. I seem to naturally wake up between 8:35am and 8:47am. Working out, doing portraits of familiar but yet distant faces, and reading. Its been one of those quiet and sit under the tree shade while people watching summers. I still have been enjoying the night life, thanks to Alexa, Erin....but my days have been peaceful. Caitlyn is now full time back in the Eug, Rachel has been in and out, and Anna will be here in a few days!!!! YES! Amels and I have different paths, but i guess its normal. Things are good, in places where i can understand now. Took me a whole summer, but its coming along.
I haven't written in so long because I have been writing letters to Jenny. I pretty much write her once a week, with all the juicy details of my ordinary college life. I miss her a lot. and its going to be weird without her this fall. not till 2010, will we be in her red framed bed again. damn. Anyways, by the time I finish writing her i get burnt out writing blogs, so if you want to know the itty gritty details, ask her...she is in Marcarata, Italy! good luck.I pretty much vented to her all summer. She holds the details to the frustrations i probably would tell no one else. its funny how you can divulge so much by written correspondence, but yet face to face it is so much harder. Life. Jenny seems to be doing good, already abroad, living the italian dream. With her luck she is going to enjoy the scenic view of Italian landscape, food, and hopefully men too!
Summer is coming to a close and this upcoming week, I have a lot of training for my ambassador job. Tomorrow we are going to a camp out in the woods to bond...oh dear lord! I just have Friday the 13th movie series replaying in my head...and i am a little terrified. nerves and overreaction right? After that it it work week, 21er birthday and what not. Natalie is also moving down soon. It is going to be great to have someone else in the house, and its natalie too...which is awesome, can't wait!
My folks and I finally patched things up, I went on hike, saw three folks from SSHS at the mall working...small coincidence...having a lot of movie nights with the ladies, and gearing up tor Senior year...life has been good...

PS- DID I MENTION ANNA IS COMING BACK IN LESS THAN A WEEK!!!!!!!!!WOO HOO

FREEDOM Awaits

This past weekend my mom came down for Friday night. She slept on my bed, in my apartment. The house in the middle of Party Central St. and the music started pumping through our windows at 10pm. At 11pm she swore she heard someone ring the door bell...I tried to calm her down. Oh well...we slept through the night and survived. I had a good time with her, other than the fact that she keeps nagging at me. But I guess she is a mom and thats what they do. She drove me down to Roseburg to have my Rotary interview...I was absolutely horrible. I wasn't even thinking when I spoke, and just rambled. I wouldn't give me the scholarship either. So, no Trinidad or Tobago...sad. I just have to think of something else to do after college. Anyways, after my mom left, I just slept all day...and at night, partied away into oblivion. We (Alexa, Katie, Nathan, Erin, Mary, and I) went over to Joel's and Sergio's place at Bailey Hill and had a great night. At the party was Dillion, the dude in high school who I had a small crush on. He was super awkward and geeky back then, and I liked that. Now he is manned up a little and still super awkward. I wasn't sure what to make of him. He kind of just sits back, and watches whats going on. I had to go up and re-introduce myself, which I thought was kind of forced. Anyways, it fine after that, and I just enjoyed the night.
I have gotten back into Ally Mcbeal...such a good show. I think its my favorite TV show. The passion between Ally and Billy...is oh so good. I am on Season 4, and I haven't ever seen it before. Robert Downy Jr. is in it and I like his character, but in looks sadly he reminds me of a professor at UO who I don't like...ughh...but the show is great!!!!!!!!!!
This week is the week from hell....so much work to do. Report for Galvan, Blog for Galvan, Ecology paper, presentation, and final, and 3PM report....yikes...i am going to have a few all-nighters this week. On Friday I will be freed...yeah!

Then on Sunday it will be LOVE...Ayla is getting married...yeah! can't wait

Family

I have been looking over old pictures from the Georgia days. How life has changed...for the good and the bad. From the pictures you could tell that me and brother were joined by the hips. Pretty much every frame we are either in deep conversation or playing together. I seemed to be the bossy one...which is usual. My brother was the laid back one. Now, we don't really have to much to do with each other, since he goes to college at western and I am in Eugene. Life has diverged, but I still have those pictures.
I caught Beena and Neena's faces in the some of the pictures. My geographically close first cousins. Its hard to imagine that my closest extended family is 3000 miles away in the deep south. They really lost in their own world, and don't want any connections. No matter how matter how hard I try to connect with them, I still get denied. it kind of hurts. but there is nothing i can do. I guess somethings can't be mended by pictures. I might be being a little harsh, but I don't think I should have to apologize for their behavior, if they act like it, then they deserve the titles. Sometimes I wonder - what if I grew up in Nepal my entire life? How different would i be...Bibisha and Bibek could be me and Raj. Do i want to be them? Probably not, but I do admit I am jealous. They have done Dasia and Holi numerous times...all I got was Merry Christmas 20 dollar present. They got the relatives, the culture and the true nepalese experience, while i got a halfway world. My parents did everything...sleeping in cars, to working 30 hour days, to living in a foreign world surrounded by strangers, and yet I am complaining. I guess all I want is to be with more family. When I was Germany, i got to meet Deepa and Aamir, my other first cousins. They were really nice in hosting me for the week, but at the end of the day we were still strangers. Deepa was beautiful, but set in German traditions, and Aamir had his directorial project going. I felt a connection...both of us alike in living in halfway worlds, but they were more set while i was still in limbo land. Deepa was pregnant...8 months...she was beautiful, I am sure she will have beautiful baby girl. I am an aunt, to a baby who probably I will never meet, and if I do meet her, it will be like strangers passing at a train station - a brief encounter on the platform but we will have to board our different trains...to our homes far apart.
Its weird how families are. We carry the same name, have the same blood flow, and at least know of each others existence, but yet we aren't nothing more than mere acquaintances. I guess i should hold on to the ones that have been there for me. Thank you Amma, Buwa and Raj...

Heart 2 Heart

This past week I have officially settled into my place on 16th and Hilyard. I went grocery shopping on a bike, and bought way to much stuff to carry. I had about 8 bags and a back pack and a bike. Definitely not the ideal shopping agenda. On the way back, I had to control every rotation on the bike or else, my eggs along with me would have hit the pavement. haha!
On Monday i went down to the DAC to do a step class. First off I am clumsy, can't keep a beat and haven't taken a step class since freshman year. So of course i was totally offbeat the entire time, but hey, time flies by in a step class when you don't know the movements, and you are trying to keep up. So I had a great time...haha. But the best part of the hour was the gentleman next to me. He was a six foot something dude with an angular jaw and blonde hair. Basically he looked like the USSR bad guys from action movies made in the 1970s and 1980s. Kind of a mix between David hasselhof and Daniel Craig. Anyways he wore blue shirt tucked into tights that were so tight for not being spandex, and cutoff right above his ankle where his red and white nike pumps enclosed his feet. Then he laid down carpet dead center of the studio right in front of the instructor. It felt as if he was trying to lead. Anyways, as everyone one was stretching he goes to the wall and does handstands spreading his legs into a V. Great, not only do i have step next to a KGB assassin look-a-like, i have to watch him stretch in a crazy manner. It made me laugh so hard at one point in the middle of the workout that i got a my ab work out in too. Then when the class began, you could see him in every mirror, and it was ridiculously insanely funny, since he would step the highest due to the combination of his height and his energy...oh god how i laughed...

then yesterday, my mom came down...she brought a whole bunch of food...i mean a whole cooler of pre cooked food. yummm.....she helped me with my kitchen and then we had a heart to heart...fun...bonding...a little dramatic too...but it was nice to talk. anyways we spent about 3 hours together...
i am in class. bored out of my mind. can't wait to be done at 6pm...then off the ranch where Alexa is house sitting...yeah...horses...pool...jacuzzi!!!!oh so much fun!

Diversity

So, life has been on the up and up...a lot of fun times. These past few days I have been hanging with Alexa, Erin and Katie doing crazy things...like standing in the Harry Potter 6 movie line for an hour, and going over to Sergs and Joel's place. Those to guys are just insanely funny...a little crass, but hilarious. We played the very honored college pastime - beer pong, but I have to admit I am horrible at it. I get a few shots in the cup but its all by fluke...haha.
This past weekend I went to Triangle lake with Martha la Rosa(I love saying her name in its entirity) and some of her friends. Its the first time in Oregon that i have hung out with a crowd that didn't have any white people, besides my "extended family. " Everyone there was from a different heritage, culture, or nationality. it was really interesting that way, beause we all bonded over the fact that we were "ferengis." I also met a girl from Eritrea, and we talked habasha a bit...haha. It was just great. We hit the rock slides and played in the water after the BBQ, which was just yummy.
I have been still working out at the DAC. Everyday...yeah...i have lost weight...but more to go yay! i like the dac...its all order people, so i don't feel judged or intimidated. Everyone is just doing their thing. i love the pool...i am horrible swimmer, but its been great working out without hurting the joints too much.
today is rachel's b-day...she is 21...which is amazing...but sad...now i am the only one of the coogs who isn't 21. oh well...only till October.
Tomorrow I have lunch with Nicole, she was in Ethiopia doing the same thing I did, but a term before me. She knows Mark, who was there when I was too. So it will be good to chat and reminise.
all in all...beautiful days (except for the thunderstorm...that scared me silly) and amos lee music.
ps- i got free stuff for the apartmen...microwaves and tables, and lamps...yeah! and Dawit from layla has finally reached ARIZONA...and facebooked me - no corruption....haha